Tired

Memoir

I’m tired.

Tired of the words COVID, pandemic, virus, wear a mask, wash your hands, sanitize, quarantine, lockdown, social distancing.

Tired of saying “I don’t know” to my daughter everytime she asks when this will be over.

Tired of hearing my daughter say “I just want this to be over.”

Tired of thinking “I just want this to be over.”

Tired of frustration and impatience.

Tired of feeling drained, demotivated, disconnected.

Tired of lethargy and loneliness.

Tired of uncertainty.

Tired of crying.

Tired of pacing around the apartment, going from living room to bedroom and back again.

Tired of walking the same loop in the neighborhood around the lake; the same little path in the neighborhood woods.

Tired of sitting on the couch.

Tired of wondering when I will be able to see my loved ones around the country and across the world again.

Tired of wondering when my daughter will be able to be around other children again.

Tired of wondering when our family will be able to vacation and travel again.

Tired of seeing people not wearing masks and not socially distancing.

Tired of feeling angry and judgmental about those people.

Tired of having the health and life of myself, my loved ones, our community, our world endangered by apathy, ignorance, and selfishness.

Tired of a reality that I didn’t cause or create, that I don’t deserve, that could have been avoided if we had actual leadership and if that leadership had acted with rationale, empathy, and responsibility instead of denial, greed, and a flagrant disregard for life.

I’m tired.

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